Yesterday I met with a friend of a friend who is in the aged care industry.  She shared with me that she had been to an event raising awareness of “Dying to Know Day”.  A little like Daffodil Day, Red Nose Day etc, this too, is raising awareness.  It is raising awareness of the facts that so few people have genuine conversations around death, dying and bereavement.

According to statistics on the “Dying to Know Day” website:

• 75% of us have not had end of life discussions
• 60% think we don’t talk about death enough

• Over 70% of us die in hospital though most of us would prefer to die at home
• Very few of us die with an advance care plan (less than 10 percent)
• The number of Australians aged 65 and over will double by 2050 increasing our need to plan while well and share our wishes with our loved ones.

Just over two years ago I organised an Advanced Personal Care Plan for my Auntie.  She has no children of her own so I am ‘Next of Kin’.  It has not been an easy journey as she was reluctant to talk about matters of death and ‘what if’ scenarios but we worked our way through this to ensure that if something happened to her, I could make decisions on her behalf and my brother had the power to manage her affairs appropriately.

Sadly two years later, we (my brother and I) are having to enact some of that authority.  We do so with a heavy heart as our aunt has been an amazing woman, living so well and is fit and healthy to this day.  However she has now been formally diagnosed with dementia and I have had to organise some care for her to ensure someone is looking out for her, someone can take her to the shops as she lives in another state to my brother and I.   She remains well enough to look after herself and cook for herself for now but we don’t know what the future holds.

I have managed to organise an ACAT assessment for her and now she is fully registered for assistance as required.  So what is ACAT you say – these are teams of medical and allied health professionals who assess you or a loved one’s physical, psychological, medical, restorative, cultural and social needs to help with access to appropriate levels of support.  You can wade through the MyGov website for yourself, or else you can call Blue Hope Consulting for some assistance to save you some time.

Some families may not be comfortable having those conversation with their parents but may find it useful to ask someone else to assist.  Blue Hope Consulting provides a small workbook to work through the conversation and document the preferences and wishes of your elderly family members.    I encourage you to start the conversation today.