This morning I took down all my Christmas cards.  I had already taken down my Christmas decorations last Sunday (twelfth night), but my lovely collection of cards and beautiful messages had remained on the dresser and shelf.  This morning I re read the beautiful messages of hope, good wishes, love and blessings and they blessed me all over again.

In doing so, I was thinking about how words, in particular written words speak to me.  If you know the book “The Five Love Languages” written by Gary Chapman this describes how various forms of language speak to a person stronger than another form (I ‘hear’ things so much better when they are written down, or written in an encouraging way).  My mother was a gift giver, you couldn’t walk out the door without some cakes, a small container of soup etc as that was her love language.  Whilst some in my family, their language is ‘Acts of Service’.  Anyway, I digress.

So, it got me to thinking re the elderly people in our lives.  What is their love language?  How do we show our support of them through the love language that speaks to them the loudest.  It was interesting hearing how one the pastors at my church had a ‘moment’ with his mother (who had been diagnosed with vascular dementia) just before Christmas, as he was reading out a story.  All of a sudden, there was a moment of connection between them, because he was speaking her love language.  It was a beautiful story.

Last September when I visited my Aunt in Alice Springs, I took her out to some nearby gardens and in a quiet space – so that she could hear me properly as she finds it difficult hearing in a café where there are competing noises.  I sat and read letters from friends of hers.  I had written to them saying she had moved to Aged Care and probably wouldn’t be in a position to return their letters/cards but advising that my aunt was well etc.  I received a number of beautiful letters in return.  My aunt could not remember any of these people, even though they had at various times been significant in her life.  But she did enjoy listening to the letters being read out.  It was a lovely time.

Caring for the elderly takes a bit more of an effort to be creative in our busy shedules.  They don’t need much, but they want you to speak to them in a way that is meaningful.  Let us know if we can help in any way, contact us through our website www.bluehopeconsulting.com.au via the contact page or on 0412 994 759.

Well it’s the New Year and this time of year means that there a few quiet days and with that I suggest we start clearing out those back cupboards.  Yes downsizing.  Please do not put this off, promise yourself a few boxes here and there, ensure your rubbish bins are full and make some hard and fast decisions about clearing.

A dear friend of mine and long-time neighbor passed just before Christmas and I now see the family sitting in the midst of family albums, boxes of this and that and doing their best to pass on items that may be loved again by another through our friendly op shops.  But we all know there is plenty of “stuff” in everyone’s cupboard that just needs to go into the bin or down the shredder.

It collates faster that you can fill another recycling bin.  I cleared my office just before Christmas – things I had just put away when my other died.  Only to find I hadn’t touched them in three years.  Do I need them, does the family need them.  Probably not.  Reluctantly I filled both the regular bin and the recycling bins but you can hardly tell I have done a clean.  It has to be done.  You are responsible for your things and not your children.  Be brave and start.  The stuff that needs the biggest clearance is not the obvious, it’s the paperwork that needs removal (we have a great contact with a shredding company) and they will even come to you if you have a bin full of shredding.

Before you put away that new thing, make sure the old one is thrown out.  Someone will thank you for it down the track.  Each day you postpone this gets harder and harder.  If you need assistance with downsizing or secretarial work – closing off those accounts or writing to get rid of some junk mail, we can help.  Call us on 0412 994 759.

Don’t forget if you need to consider a plan for just in case in the transition to Aged Care, we can help put a plan in place.  Happy New Year, we hope it is a happy and healthy one for you all.

Salt of the Earth

Many of my clients will know that I am carer for my aunt who has Dementia.  I am in flight as I write this, heading to Alice Springs where she lives and as always, I am fascinated when I travel over Lake Eyre enroute.  This is a vast salt lake and the colours of the desert remind us of how dry this amazing country is.  But Lake Eyre is about salt and it reminds me about the term given to people as being “salt of the earth”.  I am not suggesting that I am necessarily, although try sometimes.

Working with clients and people with Dementia brings a new set of skills.  My aunt is an amazing woman who I have always greatly admired and it saddens me when I see this strong woman who can’t remember much from an earlier conversation.  But for her, it’s about instilling the values you bring to show love and kindness, patience to go through things a second or third time and if they are anxious to demonstrate the peace around you so that they absorb it.

I am hopeful that the values and love I have always shown this woman somehow operates on a default setting.  That she knows in her inner being that I will endeavor to do the best I can for her in the years that remain.  I know sometimes when she looks at me I interpret that her body and many is telling me this.

When I am looking out for places to care for clients with Dementia, I tend to look with a set of eyes that the people, the place the process is ‘salt of the earth’.  My aunt doesn’t need fancy, like a child, she needs routine and consistency in the care that she can trust with her inner being.

Whilst I set up Blue Hope Consulting to honour my Mother who went into Aged Care, I hadn’t planned, nor at that time, understood, how different a journey is with someone with Dementia.  I continue to be amazed by the minds of the elderly.   But those around them need to be Salt of the Earth.  I am also supported in this journey by two strong couples:  my brother and his wife and my cousin and his wife and collectively, and we operate as a strong team in support of my Aunt.

September 2018